Pregnancy week 6 with Rainbow Baby

So far so good! Doctors appointment on June 15th for blood work and to hear the heart beat! get to do an ultrasound at 11 weeks to make sure baby bug is growing and healthy! Im so excited about this pregnancy! So far morning sickness has been coming and going, but other than that i feel great! i have a ton of energy and have been doing alot of cleaning and organizing around the house. We have ran into one problem and thats the fact that our house is only two bedrooms that are VERY small. We are debating on adding two rooms on or just getting a modular, but we cant afford a modular nor can we get a loan. So for right now we are trying to make some decisions on what to do.. i know we have 9 monhts before baby is here but if were going to get this done id rather do it now and go ahead and get stuff set up and ready for the baby as soon as i can! I have alot of plans for this baby, co-sleeping (like we did with sophie), Breastfeeding for at least a year.. im hoping for longer but start out with a reachable goal and go from there! I just hope that he/she is safe in my belly.. i worry everyday that im going to lose my rainbow baby. I have already picked out a name for the baby if its a girl! Audrey Grace will be her name. I really wanted to remember Gracie somehow so i decided that the middle name of this child if it is a girl will be Grace in remembrance of her. :) So, thats really all for now.. I have my birth plan all ready and my doctor is amazing so soon i will be posting my birth plan!

BIG NEWS!

So, I have got the most wonderful news! We are Pregnant! Finally after almost 2 years of trying we are pregnant! 4 weeks and 6 days pregnant to be exact! Just the feeling of total joy and happiness is amazing! I cannot believe we have been blessed with another beautiful little baby! Life is so good right now! Doctors appointment on the 29th of May for our first visit and i cannot wait to go! its only a few days away but im so excited! This is a new journey in life that i pray goes well.. i just want another little one to hold and love and finally thats what im getting!

Baby Bug!

why so many tears

Somedays i just dont think that anyone can hear my prayers, or maybe im not screaming loud enough? I just want my rainbow baby, thats all i want is my rainbow baby. I have tried and tried and tried and i have gotten to the point that every time i hear of a pregnancy i just burst out into tears. I try so hard to be happy for them but jealousy takes over. I am never upset with the person but with God.. Why cant i have a baby? Why cant i get that special feeling? WHY? I sit here with tears running down my face screaming for answers that no one has. Sophie is the light of my world and i love her so much but i keep waiting for my rainbow baby and it seems as though its never going to happen. I feel as if i am never going to get the privilege to be a new mommy again. Never get the feeling of butterflies in my stomach and know that's part of me in there.