Can you see me?

I was wondering today if little Gracie is watching down on us.. we have had such bad luck here lately. My husband just lost his job, and its 3 weeks until Sophie Birthday party.. UGH! Im stressed out to the max! we don't have any money because we just paid all of our bills and now with no job Sophie isn't going to have a 2nd birthday party.. i could just about break down and sob at this point. It makes me Wonder if little Gracie is up there begging god to help us.. I saw a rainbow yesterday evening, and they say rainbows tell good fortune.. well i do hope so. Another big reason im stressed is because People just wont get off our backs.. He just lost his job on Sunday ( a week ago) and my grandparents are already being assholes about it.. they came and demanded their rent money, because were staying in one of their rentals, and wouldn't accept no for an answer so i forked it over, leaving us with NOTHING.. and we haven't even gotten groceries yet!!!! Why do people just seem to not care about others well being especially when Were family! Im just in a pissy mood and don't understand how it works sometimes.. AND on top of all of that there is me and my husband, we have been TTC for awhile now since Dec of 2010. and we finally gave up about a month and a half ago.. well.. needless to say were "late".. just at the exact moment i don't think i can handle anything more. I know he will have a job very soon but the fact is we live in a tiny 2 bdroom trailer. How are we going to fit another human being in here?  we had plans to purchase a place a year from Sept 2010 well, we had to spend our savings when the truck and car broke down simultaneously.. and now no job. oh what is a girl to do? It seems like when one thing goes wrong EVERYTHING goes wrong.. why is that? i just dont get it.. how bad can one persons luck be? well, on another note, If i am Pregnant i will be happy no matter what.. Just to have that feeling again will be all i need to cheer up.. one week from now i will be testing so please send me prayers and good luck wishes.. I want another little one. I thought for almost  a year after losing Gracie that i would Never have another one but as i have seen my daughter Sophie grow up and Learn, It makes me want to have another little baby to take care of. Sophies almost to the point that she can do just about everything by herself! its sad but also very very joyous. I love my girls, Sophie and Gracie, And i know little Gracie is looking down on us saying its going to be ok mommy i promise. I think thats why i saw that rainbow yesterday.. She was trying to cheer me up and comfort me. 


Gracie my dear,
if your looking down here at us please ask God to help us, however that might be.